


Let Love In

by cucoo4cas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - College/University, Dean Being Dean, Drinking, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Illness, Mentions of Rape, PTSD, Schizophrenia, annaby - Freeform, but it's important so, cas and gabe being the most supportive friends ever, i don't know why i keep adding tags, i hope y'all like this fic, it doesn't last long, it'll be consensual i promise, referenced rape, ruby/anna - Freeform, ruby/sam for half a second at the beginning, sam being caring and sweet as always, there will probably be a sex scene in this fic at some point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-22 15:43:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11970501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cucoo4cas/pseuds/cucoo4cas
Summary: Struggling with the ghosts of an abusive ex and watching her relationships crumble around her, Ruby's seen better days. Anna hasn't been doing much better. When these two meet, they become a stabilizing force in each others' lives. Triggers: PTSD, rape, abuse, schizophrenia. College AU. Ruby/Anna with a side of Destiel and Sabriel.





	1. Wrong Window

Ruby's world spun. The night lit by street lights and neon signs swirled into a shifting kaleidoscope of making sure her feet found pavement and breathing evenly so the contents of her stomach didn't find the pavement as well. She hadn't gotten this fucked up in a long time, like two weeks at least.

Thankfully, Meg's building was only a few blocks ahead. Ruby kept her feet moving. Christ, she needed to pee bad. She stumbled across the crosswalk of an intersection, focusing more attention on her feet and balance.

Across the street, she couldn't take it anymore. She needed to pee or puke or both. She spotted a Subway restaurant with its lights still on.

Ruby ran up and ripped the door open. She tugged on the bottom of her skirt to make sure she was being at least a little decent. "You guys open?" she asked. She was pretty sure she hadn't slurred that.

The guy behind the register said, "We're 24 hour."

"Great," she said, relieved. She threw herself towards the counter. "You got a bathroom in here?"

The guy nodded. "Gotta buy something to use it," he said.

Ruby rolled her eyes, the motion making her stomach churn. Jesus, she was a hot mess tonight. She probably came across like a drunk slut. The fact that it was nearly 3 a.m. didn't help her case.

Her self-consciousness dissolved into laughter. She giggled just a little too long before saying, "I'll take a cookie." She pointed to one, and the cashier dutifully grabbed it for her. She hastily pulled cash out of her bra as the cashier held a key out to her. She thanked him, taking the key and the cookie, and sprinted into the bathroom.

G-string down and skirt hiked up, urination had never been so glorious. The relief nearly had her in tears. She released a deep, cranberry vodka flavored breath and sighed. She took a bite of the double chocolate cookie. The morsel was so delicious it was sinful. And it was just a fast food cookie. If nothing else had clued her in, that solidified for Ruby that she was really and truly drunk. She had to get to Meg's. Her head was already starting to feel heavy. A full hangover wasn't far behind. She needed either another drink or sleep pronto.

Ruby pulled up her panties and tights, straightened her black leather skirt, adjusted her silky red tank top, and left the Subway pretending her dignity was still intact. As she got back out on the street, a loud belch ripped from her throat. Who needed dignity anyways?

Ruby reached Meg's building and felt joy bubble up in her chest. She finally made it. Ruby walked over to the fire escape. The pressure behind her eyes started to throb, making the bottom of the fire escape look much farther away than it really was. Maybe she should use the buzzer for a change. What was Meg's apartment number again? Something on the third floor. Shit. She kicked off her heels and threw them up on the fire escape with a loud metallic clang. She yawned, the night catching up with her.

Ruby closed the lid to Meg's dumpster and climbed on top of it. It was more clumsy than she would've liked, but she did manage to pull herself onto the dumpster. She was definitely not sober enough for this shit. She slipped as she grabbed the bottom of the fire escape, her fingers just grasping the bottom wrung. Slowly, she pulled herself up. Pain bloomed through her head. Grimacing, she closed her eyes and staggered over to her shoes.

Dawn was starting to lighten up the night sky when Ruby reached the third floor. Her headache intensified, and she quickly stumbled to the nearest window. She was pretty sure this was the window to Meg's living room. Might've been the bathroom window, though. Didn't matter. Head hurt too much.

Ruby knocked on the glass. No answer. She was gonna give Meg shit for this later. She pressed her hands to the window and slowly worked it open.

Once it was open wide, Ruby crawled inside. She collapsed onto Meg's couch. She closed her eyes and fell asleep instantly.

What felt like mere seconds later, Ruby awoke to a sharp kick to her side. "What the shit, Meg?" Ruby groaned.

"Who's Meg? Better yet, who the hell are you, and how did you get in here?" Ruby opened her eyes to see a stern red head who was very much not Meg standing over her.

"Why are you in Meg's apartment?" Ruby asked, sitting up slowly.

"This is my apartment, not this Meg's person's. You're trespassing. Get out before I call the cops," the woman said.

Ruby raised her hands in surrender. "I'm sorry. I must've climbed in the wrong window. I'll go. Let me just get my shoes," she said.

Ruby got on her knees on the couch and stuck her head out the open window. It was very bright out. Several hours must've passed. She reached forward, just barely grabbing her heels.

"Did you climb up the fire escape? Who the hell are you?" the redhead asked.

Ruby slid back inside. "The name's Ruby. I'm a friend of your neighbor."

"Meg. Yeah, I gathered," the woman said.

Ruby got off the couch and headed for the door. "You got a name?" Ruby asked as she stepped into the hall.

Her unwilling host said, "Anna."

Ruby said, "Well, Anna, I'm sorry for accidentally-"

Anna shut the door before Ruby could finish.

"Accidentally breaking into your apartment," Ruby muttered to no one in particular. She walked down the hall. She'd been off by one window. Of course.

Ruby knocked on Meg's door loudly.

Meg opened the door and looked at Ruby. "You're here early," she said.

Ruby moved past Meg into her apartment. "What time is it?" she asked.

Meg said, "A little after 6."

Ruby groaned and plopped down on Meg's couch, dropping her shoes on the floor.

"Long night?" Meg asked.

Ruby chuckled and asked, "Did you know your next door neighbor has her couch under her window, too?"

"Wait, what?" Meg asked.

Ruby said, "Snuck into your apartment a few hours ago. Turns out, it wasn't your apartment. That's the kind of night I had."

"Jesus, Ruby," Meg said, shaking her head, "I'll let Sam know you're here."

Ruby thanked her, and to get through the blinding pounding still behind her eyes, promptly went back to sleep.


	2. Mother

Castiel was already at a table in the small coffee shop when Anna arrived. She slid into the booth across from him and said, "I hope you weren't waiting long."

He smiled. "I live a block away, and you need to take a train to get here. I'm used to it," he said, "I keep telling you we can meet somewhere more in the middle."

"But the coffee here is so good," Anna said with a smile.

Cas slid a steaming mug over to her. "I ordered for you. Cream and sugar with a splash of actual coffee," he said.

She grinned and said, "You know me so well." She took a sip, and it was exactly what she needed after the morning she'd had.

"So, how've you been?" Cas asked.

"What, since I saw you two days ago?" Anna replied.

He smiled and took a sip of his coffee, his silence prompting her to answer.

"I've been alright. Had a really weird morning," she said.

Cas' eyebrows raised. "It's still morning," he said, "What's so weird about it?"

"Well, I woke up with a random woman on my couch," she said.

Cas nearly choked on his drink. "What?" he asked.

"This morning, there was a woman on my couch. She broke in. Pretty sure she climbed the fire escape. That's where her shoes were anyway."

Anna remembered with disturbing clarity how Ruby had leaned out the window to get them. Ruby had been wearing a g-string under a very short skirt. Anna had had to divert her eyes for her own sake.

"How'd she get in? Don't you lock your windows?" Castiel asked.

Anna shrugged. "I always have the window locked. I checked it after I kicked her out, but there's something weird with the way it sits in the frame. Even if it's locked, it doesn't actually lock. No idea how she knew that, though."

"And she was just sleeping on your couch. She didn't rob you or anything?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, she was just passed out. She seemed really hung over when I woke her up. She thought she'd sneaked into her friend's apartment."

"Does this woman have a habit of breaking into people's apartments?" Cas asked.

Anna chuckled and said, "The way she acted, I wouldn't be surprised."

"Surprised about what?" Gabriel asked, sliding into the booth next to Anna. He had a mug of hot chocolate that was simply overflowing with whipped cream.

"Anna had a woman in her apartment last night," Cas said.

Anna rolled her eyes at Gabriel's shocked and excited expression. "She broke in and fell asleep on my couch," she clarified.

"All I'm hearing is you had a random woman sleep over at your apartment, which is easily the most scandalous thing I've ever heard from you," Gabriel said, "Speaking of scandalous, did Cas tell you about his new classmate?"

Castiel shot a look at Gabe.

"No," Anna said, turning to Cas, "He didn't. New classmate?"

"It's the beginning of the semester," Cas said, "Technically, they're all new."

Anna and Gabriel gave Castiel knowing looks.

Cas sighed. "Okay, there's a really hot guy in my English class. He's probably straight, and he's way out of my league, so don't get all excited over nothing, okay?"

"You should ask him out," Gabriel said.

Cas shook his head. "No," he said, "It would not work. He is eye candy at best. That's it."

"You should ask him out, and then we can double with the guy I met last week, and then we can go see a movie and you and your guy can actually watch it while me and my guy go make out in the back row and then you guys can tell us about it later so it'll be like we watched the movie but without missing out on any make out time," Gabriel said.

Castiel stared at him.

"What?" Gabe asked.

"You sure there's no caffeine in that hot chocolate you're drinking?" Anna asked.

Gabriel grinned and said, "C'mon, you know it sounds fun."

Cas asked, "Did you actually meet a guy, or are you just really wanting me to ask out my classmate?"

"That's for me to know and for you to find out," Gabriel said. He turned to Anna and said, "I did actually meet a guy. He's gorgeous. Pretty sure he's into me, but he said something about having a girlfriend, so who the hell knows what's going on with that. He is a really tall drink of water, though."

Anna shook her head. She finished her coffee while listening to Cas and Gabe go back and forth about their crushes and what to do about them. They all agreed that Gabriel shouldn't break two people up to get with someone, and Gabriel and Anna both felt Cas should at least try to talk to his classmate.

When she was done with her drink, she sighed and said, "I've gotta head out." Gabriel's infectious smile sobered slightly, and Castiel gave Anna a sympathetic look.

"Tell her I say hello," Cas said.

Anna nodded and got up from the booth.

Gabe stood up with her. He gave her a hug. "If you need us, we're here, okay?" he said.

Anna returned the sentiment with an appreciative smile. She put a few dollars on the table between her friends and left.

She walked down the block to the flower shop. The cashier greeted her with a familiar smile. Anna acknowledged him with a nod and walked over to the lilies. They were always so beautiful. She'd tried bringing different kinds of flowers, but lilies always seemed to suit her mother best.

Anna grabbed a bouquet and headed to the cashier.

"I hope she likes them," the cashier said as Anna paid for the flowers.

Anna said, "Me, too."

Lilies in hand, Anna took the red line to Lake Shore Drive. She walked the couple of blocks to the hospital, trying to focus on the tranquility of Lake Michigan so that she might ignore the tight, anxious knot in her chest. It was the same every week, but it never got any better.

She walked through the doors of the hospital and stepped over to the front desk.

The receptionist, Naomi, handed her a pen and said, "Hi, Anna. How are you?"

Anna used the pen to sign in on the guest log. "I'm alright," she said, "Have you heard anything about my mom today?"

"No, she's been quiet today," Naomi said.

Anna nodded and walked in. A couple of loud sobs came from the hallway she headed towards. Anna didn't react; she just walked to her mother's room. The noises of the hospital were all commonplace to her now.

She found the door with the plaque that said "Milton" in gold lettering. Memories of her mother's screaming echoed around in her head, but she shook the ghosts off.

Anna walked inside with a smile forced onto her face. "Hi, Mom," she said softly.

Her mother sat in her rocking chair looking out the window at the lake. Not a single sound could be heard in her mother's room. Even Anna's footsteps were muffled by the carpet.

"I hear you've been having a good day," Anna said. She walked over to the window and grabbed the vase of wilted lilies from last week. She dumped the lilies in the garbage in the small kitchenette.

As she placed the fresh flowers in the vase, she said, "It's a beautiful day out. Hardly a cloud in the sky."

Anna put the vase and flowers back on the windowsill. She looked at her mom. She could see the resemblance, same red hair, same blue eyes. Her mother didn't look back at her, just kept staring out the window.

There were times when Anna would wonder what her mom saw, what happened inside her head on days like these when her mom wouldn't talk or move.

Today, though, Anna just wished that her mom would look at her and see her. She leaned against the window. It was days like these that she wondered if her mom would be better off dead.

"I met a new person today," Anna said. She searched her mom's face. There was never a reaction or response of any kind, but she looked for one every week anyway. "Sure, she kind of broke into my apartment, but still, it was something different."

Anna walked over to her mom's bookshelf and read through the familiar titles. "How about To Kill a Mockingbird today?" she asked.

There was no reply. The only real sign of life was her mother's steady breathing as she sat in her chair, frozen.

Anna sighed. "You know, I started going back to school this week," she said, "I decided to major in psychology. It's probably stupid, but I figure the more I learn about the brain and everything, the more I'll learn about you."

Her mother had been diagnosed with schizophrenia years ago back when DCFS had had to step in. For the most part, her mom was catatonic. Sometimes, she would freak out, the hospital would call Anna, sedatives would be given, medication adjusted. Most of the time, her mom would just sit there, unaware that her daughter visited her every week like clockwork.

"You probably don't care about my school stuff. I barely care about it. Let's read. I know this is one of your favorites," Anna said. She went back to the window, leaning against the sill, and pretended that her mom was looking at her. She started reading.


	3. Bad Morning

Ruby awoke with a shriek, kicking her covers off in panicked thrashing motions. Her breath came in jagged heaves as she focused on her room. She was in her room. She was home, she was safe. Her pounding heart didn't seem to get the message. Her phone alarm went off, and Ruby jumped. It was supposed to remind her to get ready for her breakfast date with Sam, but all it did was fill her with dread. The date wasn't going to go well, not if she was already jumpy and anxious. Ruby could feel the ghosts of Alistair's fingers wrapped around her neck. She shuddered. She needed a drink, and it was barely 10am. Her day was shaping up to be an utter disaster.

Ruby got up from bed, her legs feeling as shaky as she did. She crossed the room to her closet. She could do this. She could get dressed and be ready by the time Sam got there. It would be okay. She pawed through her clothes until she settled on a black tank top and jeans. It was just breakfast, no need to get all done up for him.

Sam texted her that he was outside. The small chime from her phone made her tense for a moment. She read the text and tried to relax. She could do this. She could have breakfast while feeling fragile and shaky. It'd be fine.

She shook her head, trying to clear it. She got her shoes on and met Sam downstairs. He was waiting in Dean's Impala by the curb outside her building.

Getting in the car, she leaned over to kiss Sam. He didn't return it.

Ruby's chest constricted. "Something wrong?" she asked.

Sam shook his head. "No, I'm fine. Sorry," he said. He gave her lips a light peck and pulled the car away from the curb. Ruby's anxiety wouldn't subside, but she let it drop. If it was something serious, Sam would tell her.

Instead she asked, "Where do you wanna go?"

Sam shrugged. "IHOP?" he offered.

"Yeah, okay," she said.

Sam started driving to the IHOP on Diversey. "How's your day been?" he asked.

She shrugged. "It just started, so okay, I guess."

"Right," he said. After a few moments of silence, Sam said, "It's a nice day out today."

"Yeah," Ruby said, "Yeah, it is nice."

Sam nodded, clearly at a loss of anything to say.

Ruby decided to spare him by putting on the radio. The classic rock didn't do much to clear out the awkwardness, but it did give them an excuse to pretend that the conversation hadn't died so early into their date.

Once they got to IHOP, things didn't improve much. They were seated at a booth, gave their drink orders, and fell into more dead silence. Sam was so quiet, Ruby started to wish the server would come back and sit down with them.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Ruby asked.

Sam looked slightly startled at Ruby's voice. "Yeah," he said, "Yeah, I'm fine." Considering she could have had more stimulating conversation sitting at a table by herself, Ruby didn't believe Sam for a second. She also didn't have the energy to drag whatever it was out of him. She'd been battling her own demons all night.

"You know what you're gonna get?" Ruby asked.

Sam flipped through the menu. "Yeah," he said.

Ruby waited but got nothing more than the one word response. "Care to share with the class?" she asked.

Sam took a moment, staring at the menu, and said, "The Split Decision Breakfast, I guess."

Ruby asked, "How'd you sleep?"

Sam shrugged. "I slept okay," he said.

"Is there some reason why you're so out of it right now?" Ruby asked.

Sam took a deep breath. "I'm fine, I promise," he said.

He reached across the table and took a hold of her hand. The benign gesture reminded her of other hands, other touches. Ruby flinched, pulling her hand away quickly.

Sam gave her a concerned look. "You okay?" he asked.

She gave a shaky laugh. "Yeah." She forced her hand back on the table. She was at IHOP. She was with Sam. She was safe. She was okay. No need to freak out.

Ruby slid her hand into Sam's like it would erase the disappointment from his face. The point where their hands touched sent her nightmares screaming into the forefront of her mind. She pushed them away and tried desperately to focus on Sam.

But he was still quiet, still looking at anything but her. When the server brought them their drinks and took down their food orders, Sam and Ruby still gingerly held hands though it was more out of obligation than affection. Ruby wasn't even excited about the food. She just wanted the date to be over, so she wouldn't feel so uncomfortable.

"Can I ask you something?" Sam asked, studying her face.

"Yeah, of course," Ruby said quickly. She didn't care what the question was, she just needed him to say words, any words.

"Where do you see this going?" he asked.

Her eyebrows knit together. "What do you mean?" she asked.

He said, "This. Us. Where do you see it going?"

Oh.

"I dunno," Ruby said, pulling her hand away from Sam, "Why?"

"Do you see a future with me at all?" Sam asked.

Ruby said, "No. Maybe. I don't know. Why are you asking me this stuff?" She wondered if Sam could hear her heart beating from across the table.

"'Cause I've been thinking about it a lot lately," he said. Sam ran a hand over his face before looking at Ruby. "I'm not sure I see this going anywhere," he said.

The server came back with their food, stopping Sam from going any further. Breakfast looked delicious. Ruby wasn't sure if she'd be able to stomach it.

"Enjoy," the server said, walking away quickly.

Sam looked at Ruby, and she thought she would lose her mind right then and there. "I think we should break up," he said.

Ruby stared at her french toast. She wanted to know why. They'd had problems for months, but this was only just coming up. But she knew why. She knew it was her. She knew she was unraveling, and he couldn't deal with it. He hated how often she got trashed at night. Meg called him nearly every other day letting him know that Ruby had passed out at her place. He knew something fueled it, he knew there were things she hadn't told him, and he'd tried getting her to talk about it before. Some things were better left unsaid. At least, that's what she'd thought. Maybe if she'd opened up, they wouldn't be having this conversation. Maybe they'd be okay. This was all her fault.

"Ruby?" Sam said.

She needed to hear him say it. She needed to hear him say that she was too broken for him, that she was as unlovable as she feared.

She muttered a quiet, "Why?"

"I met someone," he said.

Her head got scarily quiet, like her brain was filled with cotton. Was this really happening? She couldn't hear a thing over the blood rushing in her ears.

Sam said something. Something about not cheating, not wanting to hurt her. She stared at her french toast, but her vision started to swim.

"Ruby, please, look at me," Sam said.

Ruby shook her head. "I can't do this," she said, "I can't deal with this right now. Sorry."

She pulled a couple of dollars out of her back pocket, tossed them on the table, and ran out of the restaurant.


	4. Seeing Double

"Come on, Anna. We need you," Gabriel pleaded.

Anna rolled her eyes. "You do not," she said.

"Yes, we do!" he said, "We're idiots when it comes to this. You're our smart, level-headed friend who'll keep us from doing irreparably, unspeakably embarrassing things. Please!"

Anna shook her head. She adjusted her phone to rest on her shoulder and flipped through a few pages in her textbook. Studying was making her feel crazier than usual. "I still think stalking your crushes at their work is a bad idea," she said.

"But you'll come with us anyway?" Gabriel asked, ever hopeful.

Anna sighed. "Yeah, I'll go."

"Great!" Gabe said, "'Cause we're already outside."

Anna chuckled and said, "Of course you are. I'll be down in a second." She hung up with her friend, grabbed her jacket and her keys, and headed downstairs.

Gabriel sat shotgun in Castiel's car. Both of her friends smiled at her as she approached.

"I'm really sorry about this," Cas said, "Gabriel roped me in, too."

Gabriel scoffed. "Excuse me, Mr. Oh-My-God-His-Eyes-Are-So-Green. I didn't hear any complaints from you when I told you about this ingenious plan," he said.

"How'd you even find out where they work?" Anna asked as she slid into the backseat. Gabriel bounced his eyebrows at her in the side view mirror. "You doubt my abilities to track down hot guys? I am offended, Milton," he said.

Anna laughed. Gabriel did have a knack for spotting great looking guys and pointing them out for everyone's viewing pleasure.

Gabriel grinned and said, "It was a spontaneous random happenstance, actually. My car needed an oil change. I brought it into the closest shop right before they closed. The most gorgeous guy ever took my car keys from me. He let me know I'd have to come back after the weekend to pick it up as if I'd be upset about having an excuse to see that beautiful man again. He has the most delicious hair, and have I mentioned how tall he is? 'Cause I'm gonna climb that boy like a tree, I tell you."

"Gabe," Anna said, trying to keep him on track.

"Anyway, I dragged Cas with me when I picked up my car. I just wanted to introduce him to my hot guy, but then he saw his hot guy, which was fucking crazy," Gabriel said.

"It wasn't that crazy," Cas said, "They're brothers, they work together. It was just unexpected."

"Wait, your crushes are brothers?" Anna asked.

"Unfortunately, yes," Cas said.

"Unfortunately?" Gabriel asked, shocked.

"Yes, their being brothers is unfortunate, because now you won't stop your incessant double date schemes," Castiel said.

Gabriel chuckled. "Well, you're not wrong about that."

Anna asked, "So, if you already picked up your car, why are we going to their garage now?"

"Because you need to meet them," Gabriel said, as if it were obvious, "And if you're there, maybe Cas will grow a pair and talk to the sexy man he's drooling over."

Cas stayed silent.

"Okay, do these guys have names?" Anna asked.

"Their names are Sam and Dean Winchester," Cas said, "Dean is in my class. Sam is the poor soul who's caught our friend's eye."

When they arrived at the auto garage, Castiel was still as the grave, Gabriel was practically buzzing with excited energy, and Anna couldn't decide which was more amusing. If they were already acting like this, maybe Anna would be glad she came with after all.

Anna got out of the car, making both the boys hurry to follow.

A very tall man with nice hair was writing something down behind the counter. Anna could only assume this was Sam. Sam looked up at Anna, giving her a polite smile. When he saw Gabriel, his smile shifted to a more casual, more vibrant grin. Interesting.

"How can I help you?" Sam asked Anna.

Gabriel said quickly, "She's with me. This is my very best friend, Anna."

Sam gave her a genuine smile and said, "Nice to meet you." He turned to Gabriel. "Is there something I can help you with? I know we just worked on your car, so it can't be that."

Gabriel grinned from ear to ear. "Actually, this time we brought Cas' car for an oil change," he said.

"Does Cas' car really need an oil change, or were you just looking for an excuse to come back in here?" Sam asked.

Gabriel leaned over the counter, closing much of the space between him and Sam. "A bit of both," he purred.

Anna suddenly felt like she was intruding. She turned around, wondering where Cas had gotten himself to.

Castiel was standing near one of the doors, staring through a window into a work area.

"Cas," Anna said, walking away from Sam and Gabe, "You know, staring is generally frowned upon."

Cas sighed. "I know. But just look at him. It's hard not to stare."

Anna looked through the window. A man stood up from being bent over the open hood of the car. When he straightened up, she could see his striking features were smeared with oil and grease from the car he was working on. His eyes were bright in contrast to the dark mess of his face. Cas was right, his eyes were very green.

"Is that Dean?" Anna asked.

Cas nodded.

"I'm staring at him, too, aren't I?" Anna said.

"You see my problem?" Cas asked.

Anna nodded.

Dean grabbed a rag from a nearby work bench. He wiped his face with it, his arm muscles rippling with the motion.

"Wow," Anna said.

"Yeah," Cas said quietly.

Dean looked at the window and smiled at them. Castiel went very still.

Dean walked over to the door and joined them outside the work area. "Hey, Cas," he said, "Didn't think I'd see you here again. Who's your friend?"

Cas was quiet for a moment, and Anna wasn't entirely sure if he would be able to form words. After a second, though, Cas said, "This is Anna. She's one of my best friends."

Dean smiled at Anna and said, "Hi, I'm Dean."

"I know," Anna said, mentally kicking herself, "I mean, it's nice to meet you. I hear you're in Cas' class."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yeah, English. It's the worst," he said, "But Cas makes it a bit more bearable."

Anna raised her eyebrows at Cas. From what she heard, they'd never said more than two words to each other.

Castiel gave her a small smile. "Dean gets bored with the readings. I explain the readings after class. It seems to help," he said.

Dean grinned and said, "It helps a lot. Only Cas could make Ethan Frome entertaining."

Anna smiled. She was glad that they seemed to be friends already.

Gabriel hurried over, followed quickly by Sam. "Hey, you guys wanna go grab some lunch together? Sam says their shifts are over in a few minutes," he said.

Dean laughed and said, "A little eager, Sammy? We aren't off for another hour."

Sam looked at his feet before saying, "I think Bobby would be fine if we cut out a little early."

"We wouldn't want to get you in trouble, right Gabriel?" Cas said.

Dean shook his head. "We won't get in trouble. Bobby's cool," he said, "We can have lunch. We should call Bobby and let him know."

Sam said, "I'll call him. Gabe, you wanna come see the office?"

Gabriel smiled impishly. "Yeah, of course," he said.

Anna watched them walk off, walking just a bit too close together. She turned back to Dean and Cas who were quietly discussing what kind of food to get for lunch. She couldn't think for a second as a wave of crippling loneliness washed over her.

"I can't go to lunch with you guys," Anna said.

Cas gave her a confused look. "Why not?" he asked, "I thought you were just studying today."

"Yeah, and I really do need to study. I've got a test tomorrow," she said, "I'm gonna head back. It was nice to meet you, Dean. Have fun. I'll see you guys later."

"Okay," Cas said, though he didn't seem very convinced, "Do you need a ride?"

"No, it's a nice day. I'll walk. Don't you need an oil change anyway?" she asked.

Castiel sighed. "I knew there was a reason Gabe wanted me to drive."

Anna walked away quickly before they could talk her into going with them. Getting lunch with her friends would've been fun, but being a fifth wheel was the absolute last thing she wanted to do. She didn't think about the fact that she was single all that often. She had other things to occupy her time with school and her mom.

As she walked out on the Chicago sidewalk heading back to her apartment, Anna couldn't stop thinking about how alone she was. Sam and Gabriel were probably already together. Dean and Cas were friends, and if it went further, Cas would be so happy. But Anna? She was too much to ask anyone to deal with. She had far too much baggage to put on anyone. She was happy for her friends, but seeing them so infatuated just served to remind her of her own isolation.

Some people just weren't meant to be loved, and as Anna walked home, she tried to be okay with that.


End file.
